How Parents Can Support a Waitlisted or Deferred Student Without Overstepping
By Admissions Narrative · · MIT Alumni Admissions Interviewer
Key Takeaways
The Letter of Continued Interest must come from the student — never from a parent
Parents can help identify new achievements and organize the appeal — but not write or send it
Calling or emailing admissions offices as a parent advocate almost always backfires
Help your student stay grounded by focusing on the committed school as the real plan
A deferral or waitlist is not a failure — reframe it honestly for your student
Parents can best support waitlisted or deferred students by helping identify new achievements to share, assisting with organization, and maintaining emotional stability. Parents should never write the student's Letter of Continued Interest, contact the admissions office on the student's behalf, or pressure pursuit of a school that may not work out. All substantive communication must come from the student.
A deferral or waitlist is difficult for both students and parents. Here is how parents can help effectively without making things harder.
What Parents Can Do
Help identify genuine new achievements since the application — awards, strong first-semester grades, leadership developments, meaningful projects. These are the raw material for the Letter of Continued Interest. Provide logistical support: finding the regional admissions officer's contact information, reviewing the draft LOCI for clarity (without rewriting it), tracking school-communicated deadlines. Maintain emotional stability — your student is more anxious than they may show. Offer perspective: reminding them they have a real, good option in their committed school is genuinely helpful.
What Parents Should Not Do
Write the LOCI: Must come from the student in their own voice. Adult-written letters are immediately recognizable. Contact the admissions office directly: Parent advocacy calls are almost universally counterproductive — offices track these contacts and they signal immaturity. Create false hope: If waitlist odds are genuinely very low, be honest. Encourage full investment in the committed school.
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Should parents call the admissions office if their child is waitlisted?
No — parent advocacy calls almost always backfire. Admissions offices note these contacts, and they signal that the student lacks agency or independence. All substantive communication should come from the student.
Sources & References
NACAC parent role in college admissions guidance
IvyWise parent support guide for waitlisted students